3 Tips for Growing Your Servant's Heart

This phase of life I'm currently swimming through could be described as challenging.

Actually, there's a few other terms I'd like to use to describe it, but in an effort to refrain from using expletives, we're going to stick with challenging. Sound good?

Let me paint you a quick background picture:

I've just entered the third trimester of my third pregnancy. Yay for new baby's! But boo for having to get through the awful phase where your stomach's so big you can no longer bed over to pick anything up. Or tie your shoes. (I now function solely on slip-on's.)

Additionally, as mentioned previously, the hubs underwent foot surgery back on September 1st. We were expecting 2-3 weeks on crutches, but are now wrapping up our 5th week on them with at least another week to go, if not longer.

Crutches didn't seem to bad at first, and we knew that this would impact how much he's able to help around the house, but I think I underestimated really how much that meant. Ever tried to carry a cereal bowl with milk in it while using crutches? Unless you want Multi-grain cheerios spewed across your floor, you might as well eat them while standing on one foot at the counter. And in an effort to be a caring and gracious wife, it seemed like a better idea for me to get his breakfast ready and serve it to him in bed.

Now, please understand I'm not writing all of this to say poor-poor pitiful me. I'm writing this to illustrate how life's challenges can leave room for growth. For instance, this phase has shown me how much my servant's heart was in need of a tremendous make over.

I never considered myself selfish, but you really start to wonder how much you were putting yourself first until you your family is really in need of you to cover all the bases. All. Housework, career, errand-running, baths, meals. You name it and I'm on it right now.

Ever tried to be everywhere at once and still be a joyful giver? Umm yeah, it was safe to say my servant's heart needed a little work. 

So here are a few tips I'm learning while I awkwardly make my way through this challenging phase.

1. Look to the positives. Said everyone everywhere, am I right? Listen, this can be a cliche statement. I totally get it. When you're bogged down and really in the thick of it, the last thing you want is someone chiming, "just look to the positives." Ug. Eye-roll, please.

BUT, please take a moment to realize that there is some value in this statement. (Even when you don't want to hear it.) You believe what you tell yourself. So if you're only spouting negatives, guess what attitude and thought system this will create for you? When you're struggling to be caring or thoughtful to those around you, even when you need to be, just try to think of one positive thing. Even if the only positive thing you can think of is, "Thank heaven this is only for one more week. This is only a phase." Trust me, I've had those exact thoughts. Then pick yourself up, (grit your teeth if you have to), and keep pressing forward.

2. Remind yourself that working on your servant's heart can have positive effects after this phase of life is over. The impact you can create by joyfully serving others is sometimes a delayed reward. You probably won't see it or feel it in the moment, but think of the impact your actions can leave on your children. And listen to the sincerity in your husband's voice as he tells you thank you at the end of the evening for everything you've done for him and your family that day.

When you're in the trenches, it might be hard to see how much good you're doing. But look at the bigger picture. What you're doing today - This work on your servant's heart - Can have lasting effects well into the future. This is one motivator I'm currently using to get me through.

3. Take this opportunity to realize that God's asking you to do some growing here. Yeah, ouch. This was one realization that came to me recently and I wasn't really very comfortable with it at first. As humans, we like to think we have it all together, don't we? As long as we're doing ok compared to others, than we must not need to work on anything, right?

Unfortunately, I'm here to tell you through my own experiences that this just isn't the case. God is going to ask you to come out of your comfort zone occasionally. And if you're stubborn like me, sometimes the "asking" turns more into "pushing." God may place you in a phase of life where you have no other choice but to accept your current situation, then do your best to work through it with Him. It's uncomfortable, yes. But how would we ever grow if we weren't challenged now and then?

All in all, yes, there's no doubt this phase of life has been challenging for me. And in full honesty, let me tell you that I don't have it all together, and I'm not doing everything as joyfully as I should. (Who has two thumbs and is a work in progress? This gal!)

But I'm also trying to remember Philipians 2:3 - "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility, count others more significant than yourselves." Even when it means serving my husband breakfast in bed on a busy Monday morning.