Continuous Growth - Writing Update Month 3

Today marks 3 months into writing. I've been able to post every single week, except Thanksgiving. (Note to self: When holiday's approach, make sure to have an extra post ready to go ahead of time, even if you think you'll have time to do it during the busy week. You probably won't.)

I'm finally starting to feel like I'm hitting a groove with writing. Notice I did not say anything about being a "perfect writer" or feeling like I've finally found my voice. I think the whole "finding your voice" thing is a constant work in progress. Something to continually strive for.

Anyway, this past month has brought out a lot of interesting lessons for me on the writing path:

Keeping it God-focused and less me-focused. 

I believe that as sinful humans, we're selfish by nature. It's easy to want to take all the glory and boost our own egos. But I'm 99.9% positive, that's not the reason God has put this calling on my heart to write.

I believe God wants me to use my writing to point readers back to him. So that's the goal I need to keep in mind when I sit down at my laptop.

It's definitely nerve-wracking to have this thought process, I'll be completely honest. I feel like the last person in the world to be doing anything that points others toward Him. I feel like I'm just as lost and need just as much help as the reader. But another thing I've learned this month is that I need to...

Trust God with My Dreams

This was something I read in Chip and Joanna Gaines' book, Magnolia recently. Some of the struggles they endured that God brought them through are just miraculous. There's no other word for it. They were multiple times that they weren't sure they were doing the right thing, they just trusted that God would bring them through this dream by continually doing what he asked them to do. Day in and day out. 

Doing what God has asked me to do day in and day out is how I feel about writing. I have no idea if anyone will ever read this. I have no idea if building an engaging blog will ever be what I finally end up doing. 

But I have hope. I have faith. I trust that God sees these dreams in my heart and that He'll one day (in His own timing) bring everything to fruition. 

Just be Me 

This is also something that's been a constant work in progress over the past 3 months so far. It's easy to look at what everyone else is doing and to compare my writing style with other author's I love. But... 

This is something I'm going to work on the in the next month before I post another update. I'm going to work on just writing the way I write and going for it. Letting God take the keyboard and letting Hi do His thing while I do mine. 

Jeff Goins recently sent out a blog post and it was entitled Run Your Own Race. What fitting words for me at this point in my life. It's so easy for me to go down the road that leads to the comparison trap, but all that does is leave me exhausted and questioning myself and my abilities. I need to focus on my writing and my style. And trust that no one has voice quite like mine.

Looks like it's time to wrap this up and work on the next month ahead. Side note: My due date with Baby Larson #3 is this upcoming Thursday. I've already told myself that after the baby is born, I'll take the next 2 weeks off while I enjoy baby snuggles with the new little one. But then it's back to it! I don't want to get out of my habit of weekly posts.

As always: Onward and upward! 

How Doing Less Leads to More

If there's been a common theme the past couple of months in my life it would be this: Less, less, less.

I'm typically kind of a more is more person. More To Do's, more events, more goals, more food (Lord knows I'm 9 months pregnant).

But the whispers I've been hearing lately are telling me to take the every day and do less with it. Less cleaning, less planning, less goal setting, less worrying, less trying to take control of every situation.

I believe it's because by doing less of the small things, less of the daily activities the world tells us we need to do, we leave room to do more of the things God has placed in our hearts.

It opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. Less cleaning leads to more time spent with family. Less worrying leads to more joy. Less negativity leads to more life-giving positivity. Less hanging on to the things we think are good leads to more freedom to choose the things that are great.

In the past month, I took some time to practice an exercise that I've found to be incredibly beneficial, so I'd like to share it with you.

Your 5 Things 

I sat down in silence and in prayerful consideration, and created a list of 5 things that are most important to me - The 5 things I want most out of life. 5 things that when I'm laying on my death bed, I can truly say that I went all-in and reached for those goals on a daily basis.

These weren't 5 things that I just whipped up out of nowhere. I had been mulling over them for some time, and I felt that these were 5 things that God had laid on my heart.

When you preform this exercise, I encourage you to do-so through a conversation with God. It's between the two of you that you'll want to set life goals.

I also encourage you not to do any Googling or Pinteresting on this topic. I for one, absolutely love good research. Unfortunately, my "good research" sometimes comes with world views I don't agree with and advice that leads me down the wrong road. It also has a tendency to leave me with ideas that other people are using, which leads me to comparison instead of finding my own goals.

Really take some time to decide on your 5 things. It might take a couple of days before you've got them ironed out. And, I'm guessing, as life continues, there may be changes - small tweaks - to your list.

But the first and most beneficial thing you can do, is iron out the life you feel God has created for you.

Now Let Everything Else Go 

Now that you've got your 5 things ironed out, make like your best inner Elsa and Let it go.

Let go of the little things that are holding you back and keeping you down. Let go of the lies this life tells us and grab hold to the hope that God has a better purpose, a better plan.

For example, one of the things on my list was that our next home (and any home thereafter) be set up for better entertaining. I want a large kitchen with an island where we can all congregate and a large outdoor area where we can put a patio table up and let the kids run. Notice I didn't mention anything else about the house. It doesn't matter if it's in small-town Nebraska, or big-city, Georgia. It doesn't matter if it's in the country or in town. All that matters is that our next home has a better set up for entertaining, which is something I'd like to do more of. I'll let God take the lead on the rest.

My point is, take some time to really detail what it is that's important to you, and then stop worrying about the rest. The rest will fall into place in it's own time. Focus on what the most important things are.

Check Your Daily Habits 

I don't know about anyone else, but I am really great at tricking myself into thinking I'm doing everything perfect. I want to live a healthy lifestyle, but then I eat fast food for lunch and wonder why I feel lousy and low on energy all afternoon. I argue and whine that I don't understand because I had a healthy breakfast and I convince myself that my lunch wasn't sooo bad... 

The honest truth that I have to keep reminding myself is this: If we want to really reach a goal, the best place to start is to check our daily habits. 

The number one thing on my list of 5 life goals is to be a professional writer. It's easy to get caught up in the quick-fixes and fun stuff that go along with writing. But if I truly want to be a professional writer, what I must do the most of (and on a daily basis), is actually write. Crazy, I know. But you'd be surprised how long it's taken me to figure this out. 

What's most important isn't always achieving the goal, but taking the time day in and day out to do the work that leads us one step closer to the end result. In order to really live the life that we love and trust that God has in store for us, we must give up the small, daily practices that are leading us away from where we want to be. 

Wrapping Up

When it comes down to it, what writing a list of 5 life goals has taught me is that focusing on what's most important, means letting go of the things that are less important. 

And letting go of the less important has left me feeling like I can breath a little. Like I don't have to have it all figured out, and I don't have to do everything perfectly. I only have to focus on the things that are life-giving to me.

So listen to the whispers that say Do Less, and find out what it is God wants for you in this life. 

Learning to Surrender it All When We Really (Really) Don't Want To

Have you ever heard the saying, "Let go and let God?"

Me, too. Turns out, though, I'm not so great at following that advice.

This isn't something I would have announced out loud that long ago. In fact, I'm not even sure it was something I saw in myself until very recently. I like to think I'm flexible and easy going.

But I'm learning I may be a little bit more of a control freak than I thought.

I have a vision in my head of how I want things to go, and when they don't turn out as expected, I become confused. Frustrated. Unsure of what to do next.

And as we've discussed, I'm not so great at feeling unsure. (I don't like surprises, remember?)

But there's something I've been working on lately. And let me tell you, it's hard. I've been working on letting things go.

Little by little. One small thing after another.

I've been working on turning it over to God and praying that I have the faith to know He'll take care of me and whatever situation I'm going through that's making me uneasy.

The Downside of Being a Pusher

All I can think of is the scene from Mean Girls where Tina Fey's character is talking to Lindsay Lohan's and she says: 

"I'm divorced. I'm broke from getting divorced. The only guy that calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa. And you know why? Because I'm a pusher. I push people." 

Oh how I can agree with these words. I, too, am a pusher. I like things a certain way, in a certain box. So I push. Most specifically, I like to push an agenda.

I like to steer my own boat. I see where I want to go and then I attack that journey with all that I have. I push forward, always trying to reach a goal and always feeling confident that I know exactly what's right for me. Do you feel this way, too? 

Here's a scary thought I've been juggling with lately: What if we started not pushing? (The horror, I know!)

Hear my out, though. What if we just... let it go? What if we just said, oh well. Here we are. Things are the way they are, then trusted that God would take it from here?

For this self-proclaimed pusher, this is definitely a scary thought. Stepping back and letting the chips fall where they may is not how I like to roll. It makes giving anything up to anyone (let alone the God of all creation) hard to do.

However, I'm also learning that... 

Letting Go is Sometimes all God asks of Us 

In the past few months, though the ups and downs, I've had a lot of whispers that are telling me to just give up. For those that know me, "just giving up" isn't exactly my favorite option. (See the reference above about being a pusher...) 

But what I'm realizing is that this feeling of needing to give something up is God's way of whispering to me: Let me handle this. 

Do you ever wonder how things would be different if we had just given them up to God in the first place instead of wasting time and emotional energy trying to figure them out ourselves? I wonder the same thing.

As the captains of our own boats, sometimes all God is asking us to do is to step aside and let Him steer for a bit. Let Him take hold and change course to the best journey only He can see.

I can sometimes be a slow learner in this department, so I also believe that God brings us through rougher periods of life as a gentle reminder to lean on Him and let Him take control.

I don't always enjoy these rough periods (does anyone, really?) but I've also seen how beautiful the end can turn out. I've seen how much learning and changing can happen as we let go and let God create a new path. 

Embracing Freedom

Ultimately what I'm learning most from practicing surrendering it all to God is that there is pure freedom in letting it all go. 

We don't have to try to fix things. We don't have to have it all figured out or have all the answers. 

All we have to do is trust that things will be taken care of the way they are supposed to be. It may not be the way we thought it would turn out, but this is where faith and trust come in - Having full confidence that God has our best interest in mind and has the exact right plan for us. 

There's freedom in letting it all go to the One who's in control and has all the answers. And it's a daily reminder for me that I'm not that person.  (Even though I often still try to be. It's a work in progress thing for sure.)

As I said, this is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. I'm not great at it. I still like to try to take situations into my own hands and navigate my own boat.

But I'm learning. I'm learning the freedom that comes with surrendering. I'm learning that even slow (very, very slow) progress is still progress.

Remember that we are loved, and remember that God truly does have our lives in His hands. He sees things we can't, and sometimes, all He's asking us to do is just let it go. 

Finding My Voice - Writing Update, Month 2

I know it's only been 2 months of writing here, but it seems like it's been much longer. I feel like I've grown a lot in the past two months!

The hardest part by far, has been keeping my eye and my mind on the simplicity of the task: Just write.

Embracing My Own Journey

I few weeks ago, I stumbled across Jeff Goins 12 step process to becoming the writer of our dreams. I have no doubt that Jeff knows exactly what he's talking about. The man built an empire around learning to become a writer and then sharing that knowledge through his platform. He's brilliant and clearly passionate about what he does.

So I quickly downloaded his PDF that would lead me down the path of becoming a professional writer. I easily completed Step 1 - Clarify Your Message with a Worldview Statement. So I was anxious to go on to Step 2 - Pick Your Platform Personality. And you know what happened in Step 2? I got stuck. There were 5 personality traits to choose from and Jeff urges the reader to pick which one you are and fully commit to it in your writing.

The problem, however, is that I couldn't commit to just one. I didn't feel like that would be doing myself justice or following the plan God has for me. I had to take a couple of days to let it all sink in before I realized what I already know: Following someone else's step-by-step plan may not be the exact plan for me.

I so easily get caught up in quick fixes and easy step-by-steps. Most of this is what inspired my last blog post about trusting the process God is bringing you through. I see where I want to be. I want to write full time and I want to embrace all of the creativity God has given me.

And yet.

I must realize that following someone else's step by step plan may steal the joy of my own journey. If I don't go through this, if I don't trust that this path God is leading me down is being created for a reason, if I don't find a way to write and share photos in my own unique way, then I don't think I'll end up where I always dreamt I would be.

Embracing Creativity

A couple of things I've discovered in the past view months have drawn me out of my little box of seriousness (if you will) and changed the way I write.

I used to write more bullet-point type posts, and I do still have some topics I like to write that way, but I've discovered I enjoy writing more if I embrace some creativity and write from the heart instead of writing in a way that makes me sound like I'm teaching someone else.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that I most definitely do not have all the answers. If I could describe my writing style right now in month 2 of consistently posting every week, it would be this: Writing from my heart to share my experiences in a way that would be helpful to others.

I want to provide value to you, the reader. How does one share a message without providing value? However, I think over the past two months, my style of doing so has changed. It's more of a "Look, here I am. Here's what I'm going through and what I'm discovering. Be encouraged that you're not alone if you're going through this, too."

In changing my style a bit to fit this new mold, I think it's made me enjoy writing more. I'm less stressed about finding a topic, and feel more free to share my heart.

Positive Findings 

In the past month I've stumbled across some positive, encouraging resources that have spurred me on in the writing journey.

One thing I've started doing is keeping the TV off over my lunch hour and listening to podcasts instead. I've listened to a few different ones here and there. Some about personal growth and some strictly about writing. Either way, it seems like a more positive way to spend my lunch hour. Besides, daytime TV is the worst.

I've also discovered Ruth Chou Simons and her site, Gracelaced. My first thought when I came across her site was, Wow. This is beautiful. Clearly she's found her calling in life. Her artwork is gorgeous, and her blog is filled with life-giving words.

For example, in one of her posts she writes, "When we stop trying to say, 'Look at me! I'm the best!' we end up with the freedom to welcome, rather than chase... receive, rather than react... make for the joy of it, rather than to measure up."

So refreshing, right? And exactly what I needed to hear on this writing journey. It's not about me. It's about who God created me to be and what he wants me to do with this one precious, unique life he's given me.


At the end of month 2, I'm feeling a lot stronger about what my goals are and what my writing style looks like. As I go into the next month, I'm hopeful to continue to grow in writing and hopefully have a better understanding of where I want to take this blog when it comes to the next step.

Onward and upward!

Letting Go and Trusting the Process

Two months ago, I began a new journey with writing.

In the past 6 years or so, I’ve started and stopped a couple of blogs already, so of course I was hesitant to start again this past September. What would make this try any different than before? What would change this time? What would keep me from throwing in the towel from frustration?

As I fumble through these first couple of months of writing, I think I’ve identified why I’ve given up in the past: I like to skip the journey and jump right to the end where all of my dreams have come true.

I know where I want to be in 1, 5, and 10 years from now, so I’d rather just be there now instead of putting in the grueling work of the process to get there. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like the unknown. I want a detailed map of exactly everything that’s going to happen and exactly when it will happen. I just want to wake up one morning and ta-da! Goals achieved. Wouldn’t that be the dream?

Unfortunately I’m learning that’s not the way God works. (Newsflash, right?) But the more I think of it, the more it makes total sense that God wants to use our journey to stretch us and strengthen us. As undelightful as the journey can sometimes be, if we jumped right to the end result, how would we grow?

Stop Comparing

Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Yet I still find myself comparing areas of my life to others quite frequently.

For example, in my writing, I've been reading other blogger's websites and wondering how they did it. The style of their site is beautiful, and their words flow so perfectly it seems. It's easy to become jealous of their lifestyle and wonder if I'll ever get there myself. But the truth is, most of these bloggers have been blogging for years - Taking the time to find their voice and develop an audience.

How do I expect to have the same writing as someone who has been writing for 10 years? How can I expect to have the same fan base? Or the same knowledge when I'm lacking experience?

It's so incredibly easy to compare our Chapter 1 with some else's Chapter 10, isn't it?

We need to stop doing this. We are each or own individuals. We each have our very own, unique story to tell.

And we each need to use our own journey to get where we want to be. The key words here are: our own journey. Not someone else's. No matter how magical or fabulous their journey might seem. 

Less of Me

The reasons I think I’ve given up on writing in the past can be summed up in 2 words: Success and self.

Ouch. But... #truth.

Often, so very often, I try to put things into my own hands, thinking I can solve the puzzle better myself. And every time I end up frustrated and wondering why things didn't pan out the way I thought they would.

In my current writing journey, I think this is where I've always gone wrong. I've attempted writing, I've started the blog, I've got the momentum, and then I quit. Every time I feel it's because I've tried to make it about me. Every writing experience I've had up to this point has been about success and numbers and making sure I can make money to provide for my family.

The truth is, I think it's failed every time because I've kept God out of the equation. It hurts to come to this realization, but it's also the honest truth. 

If we're going to fully trust the process that God is bringing us through, we need to be looking more at the bigger picture, and less at ourselves and our own plans. 

Freedom

There's total freedom in letting go of "needing to know it all" and embracing the presentness of the journey. 

At least this is what I'm learning so far. 

I still so, so desperately like to see the whole picture, right up front, no surprises. But the more I let go of this thought, the more freeing it is to not have to worry about having it all together. 

It's becoming easier to commit to my writing, and stop worrying about always getting it juuuuuust right. It's also becoming more fun to experiment, knowing that each thing I try will only bring me closer to finding my voice and sharing whatever message God has for me to share. 

It's not an easy commitment to make, but I do think it's what God asks us to do. Stop worrying about getting it all figured out right now, and just take some time to really feel where you're at in the journey.  


Any process God's bringing us through might be messy, take longer than we’d wish, and even veer in directions we could never see on Day 1 of the journey.

We have to accept the fact that there are reasons we're on the journey we're on. We may not see those reasons now (or even a little while down the road), but they're there. We must trust the process and find ways to move forward, even if we can't see the end result. 

And please know that I'm speaking this as much to myself as I am to you. 

So I've decided to spend a little less time constantly searching other blogs, and a lot less time on social media these days. If writing is the calling God has placed on my heart, then it's time I dig in and do the daily work. 

It's time to jump into the ride of the process, trusting the end results God has planned for us on the other side. 

Even if we hate surprises. :)