Letting Go and Trusting the Process

Two months ago, I began a new journey with writing.

In the past 6 years or so, I’ve started and stopped a couple of blogs already, so of course I was hesitant to start again this past September. What would make this try any different than before? What would change this time? What would keep me from throwing in the towel from frustration?

As I fumble through these first couple of months of writing, I think I’ve identified why I’ve given up in the past: I like to skip the journey and jump right to the end where all of my dreams have come true.

I know where I want to be in 1, 5, and 10 years from now, so I’d rather just be there now instead of putting in the grueling work of the process to get there. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like the unknown. I want a detailed map of exactly everything that’s going to happen and exactly when it will happen. I just want to wake up one morning and ta-da! Goals achieved. Wouldn’t that be the dream?

Unfortunately I’m learning that’s not the way God works. (Newsflash, right?) But the more I think of it, the more it makes total sense that God wants to use our journey to stretch us and strengthen us. As undelightful as the journey can sometimes be, if we jumped right to the end result, how would we grow?

Stop Comparing

Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Yet I still find myself comparing areas of my life to others quite frequently.

For example, in my writing, I've been reading other blogger's websites and wondering how they did it. The style of their site is beautiful, and their words flow so perfectly it seems. It's easy to become jealous of their lifestyle and wonder if I'll ever get there myself. But the truth is, most of these bloggers have been blogging for years - Taking the time to find their voice and develop an audience.

How do I expect to have the same writing as someone who has been writing for 10 years? How can I expect to have the same fan base? Or the same knowledge when I'm lacking experience?

It's so incredibly easy to compare our Chapter 1 with some else's Chapter 10, isn't it?

We need to stop doing this. We are each or own individuals. We each have our very own, unique story to tell.

And we each need to use our own journey to get where we want to be. The key words here are: our own journey. Not someone else's. No matter how magical or fabulous their journey might seem. 

Less of Me

The reasons I think I’ve given up on writing in the past can be summed up in 2 words: Success and self.

Ouch. But... #truth.

Often, so very often, I try to put things into my own hands, thinking I can solve the puzzle better myself. And every time I end up frustrated and wondering why things didn't pan out the way I thought they would.

In my current writing journey, I think this is where I've always gone wrong. I've attempted writing, I've started the blog, I've got the momentum, and then I quit. Every time I feel it's because I've tried to make it about me. Every writing experience I've had up to this point has been about success and numbers and making sure I can make money to provide for my family.

The truth is, I think it's failed every time because I've kept God out of the equation. It hurts to come to this realization, but it's also the honest truth. 

If we're going to fully trust the process that God is bringing us through, we need to be looking more at the bigger picture, and less at ourselves and our own plans. 

Freedom

There's total freedom in letting go of "needing to know it all" and embracing the presentness of the journey. 

At least this is what I'm learning so far. 

I still so, so desperately like to see the whole picture, right up front, no surprises. But the more I let go of this thought, the more freeing it is to not have to worry about having it all together. 

It's becoming easier to commit to my writing, and stop worrying about always getting it juuuuuust right. It's also becoming more fun to experiment, knowing that each thing I try will only bring me closer to finding my voice and sharing whatever message God has for me to share. 

It's not an easy commitment to make, but I do think it's what God asks us to do. Stop worrying about getting it all figured out right now, and just take some time to really feel where you're at in the journey.  


Any process God's bringing us through might be messy, take longer than we’d wish, and even veer in directions we could never see on Day 1 of the journey.

We have to accept the fact that there are reasons we're on the journey we're on. We may not see those reasons now (or even a little while down the road), but they're there. We must trust the process and find ways to move forward, even if we can't see the end result. 

And please know that I'm speaking this as much to myself as I am to you. 

So I've decided to spend a little less time constantly searching other blogs, and a lot less time on social media these days. If writing is the calling God has placed on my heart, then it's time I dig in and do the daily work. 

It's time to jump into the ride of the process, trusting the end results God has planned for us on the other side. 

Even if we hate surprises. :)