Small. Simple. Sincere.

I finally cracked Friday night.

Not like a tiny crack you see in the pavement of your driveway, but a large crack. More like a crack in a flood gate that starts as a trickle but turns into a full blown gush.

It was time to just let it all out.

I know I've mentioned our current predicament with Cory being in crutches and me now entering my 8th month of pregnancy. So far, I felt I was holding it all together fairly well.

I've been giving.

I've been checking things off the "To Do" list.

I've been running errands, cooking, cleaning, and snuggling kids back into bed in the early hours of the morning.

I've been (mostly) patient and kind.

Welp, that all ended last night when I finally lost it.

I knew I was physically tired, but it turns out my tiredness was entering a new level. I realized last night (after tears came out of nowhere and for no darned good reason), that I was beyond physically tired. I was emotionally exhausted. I was trying to do too much in too short of an amount of time. I was trying to keep it all together and take care of errands and lists and chores.

Last night was a strong reminder that I needed a break. And of course, that left room for some thinking.

Why am I trying to do it all? Why are we so determined to have to do everything?? Why does culture tell us we must constantly be going and doing?

I realize that this phase of life I'm in is not going to last forever. But I don't think I'm handling this phase very well either. I'm so busy making sure everything is done and the house is picked up and the kids are bathed (you know, at least a couple times a week so they don't smell), that I'm missing the joy. The simple joys of everyday.

I'm so busy trying to just get through the next 24 hours, that I'm struggling to take time for myself to refill my own needs. Not to mention that I'm also missing the smiles on my kids faces as they set up their play train set (for the 400th time) because I'm too busy doing dishes and packing lunches to just sit down and drive a toy train with them.

This is the essence of 21st century motherhood, isn't it? How do we do it all and still make sure we spend time with the people we love?

What I'm learning is that maybe we quit trying so dang hard to do it all. Where is the quiet? Where is the simple and sincere moments I'm spending with my kids and my husband? I feel like I'm missing it. I feel like these moments are passing me by while I'm slaving away doing things that really aren't all that important in the big scheme of things.

Maybe I need to quit worrying about doing it all and start worrying more about the simple and sincere moments in life. The quiet moments. The giggling coming from the toy room in the basement. The laughter from jumping into a pile of leaves.

I'm on this journey to experience a more intentional life, and I'm starting to see that it starts at home. Right with my own little family. Right in the small moments.

So while finally breaking down the other night was definitely not how I saw my Friday evening going, I will say it brought forth a new realization that I need to change a couple things about the way I'm living my life right now.

Small. Simple. Sincere.

These are the words that are good for my soul.